David Bowies song ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes is on my mind. For many reasons I guess. I have felt changes all around me and I am still ok. Yes, I am still ok!
It seems to have started on January 5th, at 9:30am when I got the call “not to come back, its just not going to work”. Just a little over two months and its over. These kinds of Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes wipe the confidence right out of your vocabulary and makes a person just want to craw under a blanket for days.
When you learn you lost your job 3 days before your 44th birthday, it kinda puts you into “shut down” mode. That is exactly what I did. I shut down my website, facebook, and twitter. I hide settings on my linkedIn account and decided not to answer my phones. Socializing was not something that even interested me. I just crawled into bed and slept.
Family and friends have a way of pulling your butt out of bed and making you socialize. My hubby said I had to do something, so I had a football party. Saturday the 7th I invited friends down, had great food, and watched the game. It was nice, no one asked me about my job. People also didn’t realize it was my birthday on Sunday, so I didn’t have to talk about that either. Its was all football, all night!
By Thursday the 12th, my girlfriends took me out for my birthday. It was nice and something I really needed.
Although I am not feeling great about myself right now, I still believe with all my heart; God has bigger plans for me. I feel so much more at ease this time then last, John does too. Our family has already experienced hell (our own hell, not others. We know many families worse off than us). When you have been were we have been and you have to go back again, you have experience, you have built up resilience, and it doesn’t seem as bad as last time.
Hope is alive! I completely moved my website from Joomla to wordpress so that I could set it up more like a blogging site. Started reading more about prayer. Working on finding a job and getting ready to start back to school this week. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!
Luv, luv,
Julie
