God blesses us know matter what

I was replying to an email the other day and in closing I wrote “God blesses us know matter what”.  God really does bless us.  We don’t always recognize the blessing in the moment, but in time we do.   Over the past two years I have written about the challenges, disappointments and blessings our family has encountered.   In the moments after I post to my blog, I often question if I should really be putting this information out there for all-of-the-world to read.  I can tell you I am always blessed that I did.

Just recently I share about losing yet another job and feeling terrible I could not provide for my family.  I also mentioned this time around I felt completely different.  I am so much more at ease.  I am almost peaceful at times.  I have handed it all over to God and I am letting him carry my burdens.  In some ways it feels kind of strange to say “Here God, take all my worries, burdens, and fears.  I will let you take care of them all.  I am no longer going to let it consume me anymore, I am handing it all over to you”.  Even though I am the “messy room” I created, somehow I have to be ok with God stepping in and cleaning up my room.

It’s really not about cleaning up as much as it is about letting go, keeping faith, and trusting God.  I have faith, tested on many levels, but faith which continues to grow stronger every day.  My youngest son put it best in a conversation we the other night on the way home from the movies.  Over the past two years it seems as if he has lost his faith and belief in God.  I pinned it down to him having to move from a Catholic School system to a public school.  He tells me it has more to do with what our family has been through than it does with switching schools.  He does however confirm his faith and belief in God has wavered.  He continues to tell me he does question a lot of things when it comes to God.  In the same sentence he said, “But that doesn’t mean God doesn’t love me.  God respects and understands I have questions.  God is glad I have questions”.  How beautiful is that!   I have to agree with him.  Our faith is our own.  Sometimes I learn to trust God through my children, who at times can be so much wiser than I. 

I have noticed a few things in the past few months.  Things that have probably been there all along, I was just too stubborn to see them.  People do care.  People do read what I write.  I don’t always have to help.   People like helping me, just as much as I love helping them.  It’s good to be still and look around.  It’s ok to take a break.  It’s ok not to move so fast.  It’s ok to let go!

I was handed a book the other day, Charles Swindoll’s , “Perfect Trust.   It’s a very small easy book to read.  At times while reading the book it was as if the author knew my life or maybe it was just that my brother, the one that handed me the book, knew me the best.  Swindoll writes:  “Worrying is a complete waste of time, produces anxiety and reactions that distract you from your true calling.  Worry makes us forget what we are truly worth.   It erases Gods promise from your mind.”

Yes, this last year I let all the worry and anxiety take over and erase Gods promise from my mind.  I let it harden my heart and define my worthiness.   Somehow through the little blessings of people reaching out and reminding me of God’s promise I have found it easier to let it all go and find peace with who I am.  Even when our heart is hardened, when our willingness to let go subsides, when we are overcome with fear and anxiety, when we block God out, “God continues to bless us no matter what!”

Luv, Luv,

Julie