Gray Skies

“Gray skies are going to clear up; put on a happy face” are the words I often heard while my mother-in-law Ann would sing in the kitchen, putting a meal together for the family or shuffling around the house that one day would become ours.

This tiny, beautiful human I would call mom made me smile every time I was in her presence.  Her kind, gentle spirit was like no other. She might have been small in stature, but she had the strength of a giant. She built retaining walls out of creek rock she dragged up from the bottom of her street.  She built a cement slab for entertainment out of an old metal box frame.  She got her hands dirty, always gardening or doing yard work, but dressed as if she was going to church every day.  She was absolutely amazing in my eyes.

Ann and Jack became my parents.  The ones that took me in and told my father not to worry; they would take care of me.  I can still see the handshake between my father and Jack as they exchanged words and commitment at our wedding.  It was as if my father was passing the torch of a parent.

Jack and Ann openly accepted me into the family fold and, excitedly without hesitation, I jumped in like a hurricane.  I never wanted to leave. I never wanted this beautiful family life to end.  By no means did I have the right to call them mom and dad, but they never seemed to mind.

They always saw the good in me and in everyone they met.  Never once did I ever hear them speak ill of anyone. They made me feel so loved and accepted.  They made losing my own parents more bearable. They encouraged all of us all the time, let us share, greeted us with smiles, and spent countless hours with their grandkids.  They were perfect parents in my eyes.

Ann would often tickle the tops of your hand when you sat with her while Jack sat in his recliner, listening intently to whatever you were going to share with him.  Jack was always so proud of all his kids, their spouses, and all his grandchildren.  Ann would have a thousand more of all of us if she could. She could never get enough kids.  They could never get enough of all of us!

I miss family. My boys and I often talk about the days of family and long to have the feeling of connectedness. I have taken away so much from the twenty-three years I had with my husband, his brother, and father, and I feel fortunate that I was given twenty-six years with his mother. They have forever changed my life, and I will be eternally grateful for their love.

I am feeling grey skies for the loss I have experienced, but I am willing to brush off the clouds to cheer up, knowing those skies will clear, and I will continue to move forward to see the beauty in all of it.