There have been so many times in my life I just wanted to give up. Often thinking to myself, I can not take one more thing happening to the people I love or me. I can not take one more tragic story, any more pain, and suffering, and please no more loss.
Never has the thought of giving up been more present than in the past few years of my life. And trying to find hope in the midst of all it, well it sometimes feels impossible.
Then, love shows up. Love shows up in the people around you. In the experiences of life, love finds a way to creep in and give you hope. When tears consume your day, love finds a way to wipe them away. When your heart is breaking and you can’ t seem to catch your breath, love has a way of calming you down and breathing life back into you. Love has a way of putting the pieces of your broken heart back together again.
When you feel alone, and you think no one understands your pain, love will send you someone who does. When you are tired of fighting the good fight, love will step in the ring for you and take all the punches of life. Love is resilient and will never give up on you.
The only thing you have to do is allow love to enter, and sometimes, this task alone can be the hardest to accomplish. Allowing entry means becoming vulnerable. Who wants to expose themselves to the world? Who wants to put themselves in a position for possible heartache, again? I can tell you the twenty-year-old in me would say, hell no, I am not allowing hurt to happen ever again. I am done.
However, this fifty-one-year-old, after losing the love of her life, has reached into her closet of protection and is trying her best to hold up the old armor she once used in her twenties. She is finding she is not as strong as she once was.
The armor of the heart is heavy. Although she does remember the armor well, she is not willing to let it get in the way. She is willing to live her life without it. She is willing to stay open even though the possibilities of hurt exist.
This fifty-one-year-old has been through a lot in her life. Her experiences and the people she has met along the way have given her the courage and strength she needed. Her curiosity leads her to God. Her faith continues to guide her. Others inspire her.
She does all she can to stay open. She is much wiser. She sees hope in her future and is willing to risk her heart again. Why? Because love has a funny way of showing up when you least expect it and she understands the power of love!
luv, luv
Julie💙
