2024 has been a year of discovery. I had some of my best travel experiences to date. I started golfing (a sport I thought I would never enjoy). I continued to stretch my creative outlet by watercolor painting, and I explored new ways of earning passive income. I set boundaries personally and professionally. I stopped people-pleasing and stood up for myself. I also lost my fifteen-year-old dog, Bella. That was harder than I expected.
I have struggled since losing Bella and the onset of the holidays and winter months. Holidays are always hard, but the quietness without Bella in the home is daunting. I miss her energy and the clicking of her footsteps. I miss her companionship in the office, hiking, and snuggling. With all that being said, I am also aware that struggling during winter months is common, and it is an opportunity to rest, recharge, and learn about yourself.
The winter months are a great time to practice examining your thoughts, feelings, values, and beliefs. It is a great time to pick up a good book or to write in a journal about what you’re feeling. Sometimes writing the hard stuff (for your eyes only) down on paper releases what is holding you back. All of this can help you identify what brings you joy. So, what have I learned?
Clutter clogs up your life and blocks opportunity.
Overconsumption—I grew up in a house where there was overconsumption. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. Our kitchen themes would change constantly: Roosters, frogs, colors, etc. We had a house full of knickknacks that we were forbidden to touch. I had shelves full of dolls I was not allowed to play with, and I wasn’t a play-with-dolls kind of kid.
I loved fashion in my adult years and even now. Having brand-name items always made me feel rich. In 2024, I took on a new passive income task of promoting items online. Skin care, hair care, clothing, household goods, you name it. I was creating videos on products to try and earn some commission. I even made some UGC commercial ads you might have seen on Facebook or Instagram. This was definitely testing my creativity, but at the end of the day, I had a bunch of free items that I didn’t need. I was creating cluttered, and for me, clutter clogs up your life and blocks opportunity.
If you don’t think there is a problem with overconsumption, I highly encourage you to watch the movie on Netflix called “Buy Now”.
Over the past five months, I have lost all desire to consume. Instead, I daydream about more travel and experiences and how I can make them happen.
A deficiency in authentic connections silently depletes us.
Connection Deficiency—I take full responsibility for this one. I am great at the “Irish Goodbye.” If you don’t know what that is, google it. You will laugh and say, “Yep, that is Julie.” I am not sure that will ever change, but I have realized over the past year that social media has filled a void for me for years—a connection void.
Maybe some of you can relate. Seeing a post and getting a like or comment on social media makes a person feel seen – not necessarily heard, but seen. Social media doesn’t fill one’s cup. It just leaves the cup wet with drops. Eventually, the cup dries, leaving you with an empty cup.
The authentic connection comes in the unexpected phone call, text, card, night out, voice message, video message, dinner, get-together, sit-down dinner in your home, travel together, friendship, and family. When we stop connecting in authentic ways, we begin to have a deficiency in genuine connections, and our lives silently become depleted, with the potential to lose purpose and desire.
I have recognized this in myself. My hope is that in the coming year, I can authentically reconnect or experience new connections that help me along the way to growth, love, and personal acceptance of who I am and what I have to offer this world.
Silent love can be okay.
Silent Love -If they are not calling or reaching out anymore, consider them loving you silently. They quietly moved on or changed direction, and so should you. It doesn’t mean your paths won’t cross again or that you won’t continue to think about and pray for each other. It doesn’t mean you blame one another. It just means you are in different places in your lives. Look at each other with respect, love, and admiration. We all had the courage to move forward.
Let silent love sway through you like a warm summer breeze and set one’s heart on a day of reconnection when you can share your experiences (highs and lows) and have a knowing that silent love can be ok.
The boundary spit back is a true testament to your relationship.
Boundaries Spit Back—Boundaries have always been challenging for me. Being a people-pleaser, I have always given in to others’ wants and needs. When you add the extreme need for acceptance and the desire to be loved and appreciated, boy, do you have a great soup of disaster.
I made the soup—hell, I perfected it over many years. Nobody made me eat it. I chose to, and I have had a lot of disaster soup over the years. In 2024, however, I found the courage, through lots of love and support, to set boundaries. And let me tell you, boundaries come with spit back.
When you set boundaries, there is a learning curve for everyone involved, personally and professionally. The person setting the new boundaries understands why they needed to put them in place. They are looking to feel secure and healthy. However, the person getting a taste of this new soup might find they don’t like it very much and they just might spit it back at you.
The boundary spit back is a true testament to relationships. If you get the entire taste of the soup spewed upon you, you should probably let that relationship go. If you get a spill out of the mouth, you should consider that an opportunity for exploration. If you get a gulp or swallow, consider that a relationship worth continuing as they most likely recognize the change in your soup recipe.
I leave you with this:
Let the cold months give you time to heal and reflect in preparation for the new brilliant, beautiful you that will emerge.
Luv, Luv,
Julie
